Today has been so busy. We cleaned from like 11 this morning till 5 this evening. Nice, deep cleaning. I love when my house is nice and clean. It feels so much more inviting. Yes, I know that is something simple to maintain, I just fail miserably at it.
So this week, we get to start off in a spotless house. Yippee!!
Zachy was just doing something, we're not sure what since we were in the other room, and hurt his foot/ankle. Again, not really sure which he hurt. But I heard a thud and a high pitched scream. Not anything like an, 'I'm mad' scream or anything, but a pained scream. He is now limping. And we have no idea what is wrong. He cries every now and again and points to his foot. Right now, Matt is icing it. Hopefully, that does the trick.
It was a beautiful day, and the perfect temperature to have all the windows open airing out the place. Things feel new, somehow.
I knew when I wrote about my feelings last night, that I would have to hear opinions. And I did. And it's ok. I am married to someone who doesn't believe in depression, so it makes it that much harder. He, and other people who don't think it is real, have obviously never bore the weight that I do. No, I'm not crying all day long. Yes, I get up and function. That doesn't change the fact that with everything that happens there is a suffocating weight.
It isn't because I haven't prayed hard enough about it. It isn't something that I can just say, "ok, I'm done with this, time to be happy". Don't you think if I could, I would? If you've never been here, you couldn't possibly understand. And that's ok. I just need to figure out where I am right now. I'm sure the answer is that I will go on every day, like I always do. I won't seek any help, because honestly, I don't have time for that. And this will be a fleeting entry, never spoken of again.
We have nothing planned this week. It should be a nice lazy week. Although we do have speech and occupational therapies. But they come here, so it's all good.
I'm sitting on an exercise ball right now, that is quite deflated. I blew it up yesterday, and it is concerning that it is so flat right now. I hope there isn't a hole in it somewhere. Yep, that was a vital piece of info that you all needed to know.
OK, I'm done rambling. I'll talk later...